New normal.

When you’re forced to live under abnormal circumstances, you begin to seek some sense of normality.

What ultimately ends up happening (after an extended period of completely out-of-whackness) is that you create a new sense of normal. You adjust to the curveball life has thrown at you and settle into an as-comfortable-as-can-be spot… And you live. Accordingly.

When life hands you the most unfortunate circumstance that you can’t, in any way, see yourself out of… Well, you do. Somehow. Unknowingly. Maybe subconsciously. Just by continuing to live, to breathe, to think. And the most difficult thing (at that moment) happens… Life. Goes. On.

Painfully. At times, seemingly unbearably. You curse the world, yourself, God. You question repeatedly “WHY? Why is life so unfair? How could this have happened? Why?!” And still, life goes on. Tortuously. Gravely. It just keeps going. You feel like you’re barely living, and maybe you are.
Darkness surrounds you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. The light would surely kill you, anyway. It would be unbearable, and would have no place in your somber heart.

And then one day. The light peeks through… through your tightly closed curtains or blinds, and through your cloudy heart. A glimmer of hope is found in a single ray of sunshine. But, is this even ok? You shudder at the guilt you feel when even considering finding any thread of happiness again. Smile? I shouldn’t. Laugh? I couldn’t. Love? I won’t.

You endlessly battle the possibility of finding your joy again. You may have feelings of guilt, heaps of doubt, unresolved loss of faith in humanity or spirituality, and residual resentment. Still, there is a piece of you gravitating toward the light. And, for goodness sake, you need it.

And it’s ok to move forward slowly, cautiously. Just stay in motion. Open the blinds or curtains a little more today. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be ready to open them all the way. Maybe one day soon you’ll be ready to step outside and admire the beauty in Mother Nature. Or, maybe that’s still too far away to envision. And that’s ok. It will come sooner than later if you allow yourself to start creating a new normal.

It won’t be easy, there will still be good days and bad days. That never changes. But, with persistence and a strong will, you’ll get through this. And you will smile, and laugh, and love again.

While you’re at it, you might as well make this new normal better than any other normal you’ve ever had.

Hang in there.

Fionna Writes

Good vibes only


I distrust the person whose values, morals and identity are based solely on popular opinion.

Their dignity is nonexistent, and with no dignity comes no shame and likely no compassion.

That’s an energy I can always do without.

Fionna Writes

B & W


I was living

In a black & white


Where none of

My feelings

Were as they


Love was

A lighter shade

Of black

Although it felt

Red and pink

Envy was

A darker shade

Of white

Though I swear

It felt


So curious how

These colors are


In a black & white




Louvre Love

The picture of me in the gold dress was taken in 2010 for a Louvre-inspired photo shoot, the photographer used special effects to add in the structure. Four years later, here I am visiting the Louvre in the flesh… No special effects.
Hollerlujah *Madea voice*

I should’ve recreated that pic, huh? Lol.



Love notes at the Louvre

I was feeling the love at the Louvre and was inspired to jot down some love notes.


We loved
We hugged
We begrudged
We nudged
We touched
And sexed much
To passion, we clutched
And, we never had enough

Fionna Writes

Down & dirty with vulnerability: REALEST POST EVER


It feels like we are on the brink of a revolution… a vulnerability revolution.

It seems to me that there is a shift happening, a culture shift… one where we are slowly learning to embrace vulnerability as a way to connect with one another. For so long we have been lost in technology and cyber-communication and have lost touch with the beauty of real, HUMAN connection: face-to-face, skin-to-skin, brain-to-brain.

And, maybe I’m mistaken, but my parent’s generation seems to be one of isolation, not letting anyone close enough to see your struggle or pain. A generation where it was important to show the world that everything was under control, even when it wasn’t. I could be wrong, but I don’t believe I am.

Anyway, back to today’s society. Again, maybe I’m being overly optimistic and naive, but after being repeatedly disappointed in my peers’ complete lack of values, self-discipline, and heart, and their absolute obsession with competing in a race to ignorance, glorifying stupidity vs. pursuit of education and culture and life experiences, I’m starting to see a silver lining. Don’t get me wrong, there is still an abundance of dumb shit we partake in and glamorize, but at least there is a ray of light shining through. And that is enough to give me hope for the future, and for humanity. Slowly but surely, I am seeing more and more young people picking up the books again, having interest in travel and culture, actively pursuing good physical, mental and emotional health. Do we have a long way to go since there is still so much useless violence and DUMB shit occurring in our homes, communities and society? Without a doubt. But, at least there is a glimmer of hope. I’ll take it.

I truly believe a core attribute in achieving an enlightenment and elevation of mind, body and spirit is through vulnerability. It is one of, if not the hardest feeling to accept and process. No one likes being vulnerable. I HATE feeling vulnerable. I mean, I’d rather cuddle up with a bee or wasp (I’m beyond petrified of both of these horrendous creatures) than be vulnerable. And, I curse vulnerability when I’m feeling it. I despise myself, and criticize my life for allowing vulnerability to sneak in when it does. IT SUCKS! But guess what? The bastard doesn’t go away just because I hate it. So, I eventually talk myself into allowing the process to flow so I can escape vulnerability as FAST AS POSSIBLE!

However, the times that I sit with and in vulnerability and dissect it and allow the entire process to take place without rushing out of it, I come out the other end feeling renewed, refreshed and in touch with myself and my truth. And, that is what is missing in our world today. We spend so much time running from our truth, justifying our lies, and being evasive, so we all just keep going in dumb-fuck circles, crashing, getting up and going in the same destructive circle again! It’s insanity. Really. It is.

Let’s say it together: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Yet, we do it. ALL-THE-TIME. Why? Because, we all hate vulnerability. We’d rather make asses out of ourselves instead of getting to the heart of the matter, whatever the matter is.

Now, imagine if we all just befriended vulnerability, were honest with one another and more importantly, with ourselves. That would eliminate so much bullshit that exists in our world today. There wouldn’t be so much fog in the realm of human interaction and connectedness. We would be free to just say what we mean, mean what we say and act according to those truths. But, alas, we have not reached that level of nirvana yet.

But, there is a spark. A fire has been lit. I see it. I feel it. I pray for it. For my daughter, my loved ones, and myself.

May our vulnerability and truth set our aching souls free. Peace.




Pain is art


I wouldn’t wish
my creativity on anyone
because the best of it
is rooted in the
depths of pain.


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