Monthly Archives: September 2013

Heartsong.

I cannot sing but my mind consists of rhythms, rhymes and lyrics to my heart’s beat.

xoxo

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The “Real” Ones

I see the pain of the ones who are real, the yearning for a connection with depth and meaning

The agony of being misunderstood, and the loneliness that comes with being isolated

I hide my eyes to those seeking attachment to souls, afraid to be discovered as one of their own

For years, I lived the same pain… an unfulfillment that made me feel insane

To be that kind of real searching for the same is to imprison yourself

Not many are willing to take what we give and the rejection adds to the hurt

Or, we find the ones who take it all, with only greedy intentions and emotional stabs

The ones who’ll take until we fall then steal anything left while we’re down and out.

However, what maybe we fail to see, is being real and being selfless don’t always agree

We want to believe we’re the ones who give unselfishly, but with love unreciprocated, we still cry and bleed

So, really, is what we need not greedy?

Or is it that we’re just as selfish for what we’re expecting when connecting?

Who’s to say everyone should want our hearts and souls poured onto them, adding to the burden we all already have?

Isn’t it rude to assume that our need for someone’s everything is a form of loving genuinely?

Why wouldn’t it be that we’re trying to fulfill a once neglected feeling by desperately reflecting it onto everyone we meet?

Maybe everyone else is ahead of the game, and they’ve learned not to be an emotional lush

They protect what is theirs, sparing themselves from the pain of broken trust

We wear our heart on our sleeve, but that’s not where it’s meant to be

They keep their heart tucked away, in a much safer place

I see the pain of the ones who are real

There once was a time when I was just like them but now I cover my eyes when I see them pass by

Because I’ve learned the language of the other kind and it’s so much easier to love from the safe side

Still, my foolish love lives within my eyes, which is why you’ll rarely catch them through my perfect disguise

xoxo

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My word is my bond

And it’s bound by the book of life.

xoxo

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Curiosity Killed the Heart

There’s something enticing about someone you know you’ll lose yourself in. That one person who will have your heart untamed, while managing to be the only one with access and control over it. They’re the person whose mysteriousness can pique your inescapable curiosity… and no matter how many experiences you share together, you never fully know the depths of their heart.

This person aways leaves you yearning for them, a feeling so strong that you confuse it with necessity. You think you need them. It’s an unbearable feeling to be without them… a full blown case of withdrawal and momentary insanity.

Most often, we know right away, within the first few meetings that this person is our kryptonite. We know it before the madness ensues, while we have the chance to make a clean getaway. But, we pursue it anyway. We let our curiosity and attraction to their uninhibited heart lead the way because we, too, crave to be free from ourselves sometimes. And we crave human connection… the deep, beautiful, ugly, passionate, illogical connection between the one we convince ourselves is our soulmate, our partner in crime and in life.

We romanticize the premonition of our disastrous love. We can only see the beauty in exploring the darkest sides of one another, and merging our souls. It’s a dangerous love affair. It’s a destructive path that always ends in the most profoundly painful way, and still, we miss it. We search for it everywhere we go. But, it’s a feeling that is irreplaceable.

Maybe that’s because, if we survived it the first time, another time would surely kill us. They say curiosity killed the cat, and it seems it can kill the heart too.

xoxo

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Broken Rainbow

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“Color-blind mixed girl, what color are you?”

Desperate attempt to label in a race-conscious world so they can stereotype accordingly.

“What pretty skin tone you have little mixed girl. Not too dark, not too light.”

Societal complexes placed onto her, creating a painful awareness of the color hierarchy.

Color-blind to race, and accepting of all.

Only seeing beauty in the differences, thrilled to be equally a part of the rainbow of life.

Blind to the corruption, anger and hatred being blamed on color.

“Little mixed girl, why are you crying?”

“Because people have ruined the beauty of color. Color is vibrant, bright, and adds love to life. Without color, life would be empty and boring and sad. But people have turned color into something bad. The colors make one rainbow, rainbows inspire and give hope. How could we possibly be so misguided, resulting in a world so divided? These tears I cry are because of the beauty we’ve lost, the blindness to hope, which we’ve caused.”

Little mixed girl carries the weight of a broken world in her heart.

A broken heart that never leaves, a broken heart always seeking.

Little mixed girl dreaming of a rainbow, the rainbow of people united as one.

Liberated from the small-minded thinking, freed from the chains of ignorant-fueled hate.

Little mixed girl, keep dreaming that dream so grand.

For as long as you dream it, there is hope, and where there’s hope, there’s a way and a chance.

“Color-blind mixed girl, what do you see?”

“I’m not color blind. Color breathes life into me. Colors show me all the endless possibilities. The world is blind, I am not. A people so torn, a gleaming rainbow that we forgot. Massacres and blood shed…” little mixed girl said.

Until we destroy racial barriers we’ve been taught, we’ll continue to compromise the beauty in the human race.

A shattered rainbow and a planet of gloom apparently is the kind of world we choose.

xoxo

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Troubled expressions causing false perceptions

My personal negligence creating new deceptions

Rejection’s infection adds new complexions

My reflection tempts defection

Except for that one exception…

the intersection of affection

xoxo

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A Mother’s Love

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A mother’s love begins with a seed

An unseeable force that lives within she

This growing seed brings morning sickness and emotional instability

But not even backaches and cramps can send her love fleeing

This is a love no father can ever conceive

For baby’s creation happens within she

A mother’s love is pure and remains unconditionally

For over nine months, it’s just you and she.

Two hearts connected physically and spiritually

Thoughts of baby consume her days and nights undeniably

This tiny person she is creating is the most significant one she’s lived to see

For you are, and will always be, her sweet baby.

xoxo

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My new love.

My new journal.

Writer’s bliss.


Foreshadow.

Four shadows foreshadow greedy intentions

Ones of betrayal and lust they dare not mention.

Not looking far enough into the future to feel apprehension

And when it’s too late, what will be their redemption?

Foreshadow shadowed by selfish satisfaction

A transaction that will lead to every one’s extraction.

All blind to this fate due to their current distraction

But destiny will soon shed light on each of their infractions.

And then… ?

 

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Love. Insanity.

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Occasionally, I crave…

The love that makes it hurt to breathe when in it’s absence.

The emotion that only makes sense when we’re together alone.

The passion that can never be relinquished or extinguished.

The insatiable love that stays on repeat like my new favorite song.

The eye contact that continues for way too long.

The connection so deeply fused together that we can’t remember a time before us.

The sweet affection that leaves us intoxicated.

The devotion that gives and takes each other’s everything.

You be me, and I, you.

Because this love is the only thing we see.

Leave my mark on you, leave your mark on me.

It’s only insanity if you disagree.

 

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