Monthly Archives: January 2014

Brooding

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I see you seeing me
But tell me what you really see?
And I’ll tell you what I really think…
Do you see me ponder the validity of divine decree by His judgment?

Do you see me watching you self-destruct…
As I follow with a butterfly net catching showered debris?

One day you’ll know your worth
And I’ll help put you together, piece by piece.
Will that be fate or loving heart’s plea?

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


I LOVE being bi-racial & bi-cultured

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I embrace being bi-racial. Even further, I LOVE being bi-cultured. Not only are my parents from two different racial backgrounds, they also come from two completely different cultures. My dad is from the United States while my mom is from Ecuador… The other side of the world, a whole other continent. Though it caused a lot of clashes with them & their relationship, it’s benefited me. My brothers & I were raised in California, but dad’s family is mostly in Georgia and mom’s family mostly in Ecuador.

What that meant was, from as far back as I can remember I’ve been traveling. Traveling, I believe, is vital. It contributes to growth in so many ways: it exposes you to different people and ways of living, and it makes you aware of just how big the world really is and how much more there is to see and explore. Too many people live in a bubble and believe that the ways of where they are, are the ways of the world. To think that showcases the ignorance of the individual, it’s not necessarily their fault, but that is ignorance. They lack knowledge and awareness of the rest of the world, usually making them narrow-minded and tunnel-visioned. Traveling will undoubtedly broaden your mind and stimulate more productive, aware thinking.

Being bi-racial and bi-cultured also meant:
Recognizing, understanding, accepting and loving the differences in people. My two sets of families are probably different in more ways than they are the same, from language to food to music to religion to location, but there was always one trait that remained the same across them all: they’re human. They love, they hurt, they cry, they laugh, they celebrate and rejoice. But it’s been such a fun, profound and enlightening life experience learning the different ways my families do everything, and incorporating a little from both sides into who I am.

I speak Spanglish, I understand much of the Spanish language and can hold a conversation… I might be slower than the native speaker and have a few more glitches, but I can say what I need and want to say. And, obviously, english is my primary language.

I love food! All kinds. From different regions of the world. Though I’m not a big meat-eater anymore, I grew up eating pig’s feet, chitlins, every kind of seafood, baked macaroni and all that delicious, comforting soul food (obviously from my dad’s side) and, on the other hand, I ate potato pancakes, sunny-side-up eggs on top of fries, pollo salt ado, ceviche and more delicious Ecuadorian dishes, and all the common foods kids eat in America (sandwiches, fast food, chef boyardee). On top of that, both my parents are undiagnosed foodies, so every week we ate out and tried foods from different cultures (Jamaican, Indian, Mediterranean… you name it, we tried it).

I love most types of music from R&B to Hip-Hop to Blues to Indie Pop to House to Spanish to Classic to World music. I’m always slightly amused when people say they love all types of music and their list only consists of two or three genres. Oh, to live in such a bubble.

I was baptized Catholic and went to a Catholic church growing up, then as a teenager went to a non-denominational church (and quite frankly, I’m more spiritual than religious because I haven’t fully explored one particular religion. I feel like it puts up barriers between people… But that’s a whole other story. Though I’m sure it stems from having a Catholic mom and Baptist-raised dad…)

I LOVE to travel. No, I NEED to travel. I want to see it all, I want to travel to the poorest towns in different places and see how they live, because those folks are usually the most appreciative and give me such an abundance of perspective. People who don’t have a lot and who still smile and love teach me that, what I consider problems aren’t really that bad. I live a blessed life, and I’m grateful for all I have. I also want to travel and experience the most elegant and luxurious places because I can’t resist the allure of a posh life. Witnessing that shows me where I can go if I play my cards right and stay focused.

So, I say all that to say: The reason I LOVE being bi-racial & bi-cultured is because of how much I’ve learned without realizing I was learning. I was merely living the life that accompanied my circumstances.

This isn’t to say people who aren’t mixed or multi-cultured can’t be just as cultured. Anyone can be! And quite frankly, if we all dig deep enough into our family roots, we’ll learn that we are all mixed. Be aware of the fact that there is a whole world to explore, full of different cultures, lifestyles, hobbies, entertainment, music and most importantly, food! ;)

xoxo


Beautiful dreamer

One night I had a dream that I was watching a country singer at an event. I don’t even listen to country, but I actually liked the song he was singing. While still dreaming, I started to realize that I was dreaming, and that I needed to remember to write down the lyrics since this song was made up by me, unconsciously. I couldn’t remember all of it, but these are the lyrics I do remember: 

My empty heart, it drifts away

And sometimes the love it holds, it spills away

It spills away

 

Sometimes this love of mine, I can’t take away

But sometimes these thoughts of mine, they keep love at bay

 

When will this heart of mine relax & let go,

Of all the things I don’t yet know

Life took over and threw me off the track

And that’s when love took a backseat to all of that

 

You’re still my love

Still ’til the day that I die

 

I wish I could recall the rest of the lyrics and have the full song that I made up in my dreams. Ha. It’s funny how our minds continue to work even when we’re sleeping. 

 

xoxo


The In-betweens

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I’ve always been somewhere in between… somewhere in between two races, two cultures, a tomboy and a girly-girl, somewhere in between an introvert and an extrovert depending on my mood that day, and the energy of those surrounding me.

Is it necessary to always label people as one thing or another? As being one way or another? All that does is further confuse those of us who are neither completely this or that, but are just who we are. Simply complex; not fitting into any one category or stereotype. The chameleon of life, the artist, the dreamer, the accomplished, the intellect, the realist, the versatile person who can wear many hats, the experimenter, the hungry-for-knowledge, the neither-here-nor-there, the explorer, the hermit, the curious, all wrapped up into one.

There’s nothing wrong with being the person who doesn’t completely fit into any one category, but relates to a little bit from numerous categories. We are undefined, and we’ve learned to love it.

xoxo


Extraterrestrial

extraterrestrial

 A submissive wife makes for a content life, but have you known grandeur?

Not yet still… until the day she reveals her super power love

And super power mind to match yours and theirs

Intellectually stimulating, sexually advocating and can be compared to none

Dare she choose to settle down and make you her only one?

Promoting you to king with the love of this queen- a goddess on a throne

Magic exists; just watch her super power tricks

You’ll be nothing short of infatuated

See, now you’ve graduated to a higher level of ecstasy

A mortal desire to an immortal beauty

Together creating a legacy

An archetype, a prototype, this extraterrestrial ladylove

 

xoxo


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