Author Archives: Fionna Writes

About Fionna Writes

Fionna Wright has her master’s degree in multimedia communications from the Academy of Art University and has her bachelor’s degree in political science from the University of California, Riverside. She has two published poetry books, "Love Tells…" & "Lyrics of a Dreamer's Heart," and does freelance writing. She was born and raised in Southern California and resides in Los Angeles, CA.

Heart’s Intent

 

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It’s always my intention… my goal… to love unconditionally. But, my heart has a condition. It screams for love requited. And when disappointed or betrayed, it runs… far. Withdrawing from the betayer, the once-warm vessel turns cold. A heart that showered with love, runs dry. A defense mechanism, indeed. An imperfect heart that has yet to master unconditional love.

Once this heart has mastered the art of true, pure, unconditional love then it shall be free from heartbreak, resentment, anger, and suffering. When this heart completely accepts and understands that betrayal cannot be taken personally [because that is only a reflection of the betrayer's damaged heart] then it shall be at peace.

A master of love this heart will grow to be.

xoxo,

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The Real Secret to Love

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Learning to love… to REALLY love… has probably been one of the most difficult lessons I’ve had to learn. It is a lesson I am still learning. Everyday. Every-single-day.

Now, if you know me, you might think that statement is ludicrous because I’ve always been loving, giving and caring to a fault, sometimes. It’s always been in my nature to give people 200% of me while bending over backwards on one tiptoe and balancing the world on one shoulder. Ha! But, what I didn’t always share was the hurt I harbored when those same sentiments weren’t returned or reciprocated in the way I longed for. People didn’t love the way I loved, I thought. And, there were plenty of times I felt neglected, resentful, and hurt. You see, I was doing it all wrong. And, THAT is why love has been such a challenge for me. I thought that if I gave my heart away, and always went above and beyond to please people, if I was the “yes” girl, the one who always found a way to accommodate you… and you… and you… then I would be loved in return. Surely, that would fill my empty love tank. But, it didn’t. And, I was still past E on my tank of love. Empty. Hurt. Lonely. Resentful. Broken. Wallowing in self-pity. WHY WON’T THEY LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE THEM?

Well kids**, the simple answer [which took me YEARS to learn] was because I did not love myself. How foolish of me to think that I could fill up my love tank with the love of others without loving myself first. How could anyone possibly love me the way I needed to be loved if I didn’t love myself that way? How could they know what kind of love I needed if I didn’t show them how to love me, by loving myself that way first? I have a feeling I’m not alone here. For whatever reason, there are many of us who suffer heartache and pain, and it generally stems from our not-so-perfect family and home life. The problem arises when we carry this hurt and burden with us everywhere we go, and we bring it along to each relationship we have – be it friendship, romantic, etc. And, we allow this hurt to consume the relationship and sabotage it without even realizing it. And when it ends, we are MORE hurt and throw that pile of new hurt onto our old hurt, and we continue this vicious cycle of self-inflicted pain [although we assume the other person is the reason for the hurt they just happened to be around for].

We continue to add so much weight to our already heavy load until we become buried in our pain, and after being buried so deeply, we begin to suffocate. We cannot dig ourselves out of the grave of pain we have created for ourselves, and we are so consumed by it that we don’t recognize that WE created the mess. We blame everyone who has crossed our paths because there has not been one person who has not hurt us, and so everyone else is to blame. And with that thinking, we miss the whole picture – the SIMPLE picture. WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR OWN LOVE AND HAPPINESS. If we had learned early on that anyone who hurt us only did so because they were hurting and lacked self-love then we would have never gone on this grueling journey of not loving ourselves and therefore, not attracting love into our lives. But, we didn’t. We thought that the pain others placed onto us was because we were not worthy of love. And so, we did not love ourselves. And no one else loved us either because… they did not have to and/or they didn’t know how to.

The bottom line here is: Love yourself first. And, don’t expect it to happen overnight. This is a process of allowing yourself to feel every pain, experience yourself in different situations without others, understand your heart, learn what you enjoy and what you dislike and don’t allow others to make you feel inferior for whatever you discover to be your truth. Your truth is your truth and no one else’s. You don’t owe anyone your JOY. You have a responsibility to contribute your best self to the world, but to do that will never mean being robbed of your JOY, your VALUES, your SELF-LOVE. In fact, you cannot contribute your best self to the world UNTIL you’ve found and experienced joy, until you’ve defined and are rooted in your values, and until you have completely learned to love your self.

And so it is. Let’s heal the world by healing ourselves first, loving ourselves and then sharing that secret with others who need to hear it.

xoxo,

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** It’s a figure of speech. This is for anyone aged 0***-100

*** I realize writing 0 is ridiculous. Humor me.


Do you?

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Break ups can be so strange. When we decide to enter a relationship with someone, we are giving ourselves permission to open up and share the parts of us we normally keep from the world… Emotionally, mentally, physically. Our lives are intertwined, we adjust and compromise some of our ways to allow the relationship to blossom. And then, somewhere along the way, things change. Hearts shift, intentions sway and oftentimes, resentment builds until the relationship shatters. And then we break up, and usually become strangers. But, we pick up our pieces and continue living our lives separately. But sometimes, when the wind kisses our skin, when the rain softly sings it’s song, when the moon gently smiles down on us nostalgically… We remember a favorite chapter from the story of us. The laughs we shared, the kiss that made us blush, the secret that was only ours… And just for a second, before the chaos of life demands our attention back, we wonder if, in that same moment, you are sharing that same thought and feeling. A moment that still keeps us connected even while we are worlds away from what used to be.

xoxo,

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HER

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But…

When she smiles

When she REALLY smiles

Wow!

It makes

Them lose

Their dignity

Their self-respect

Cat calls

Dog howls

Each competing

For HER

To turn around

Hoping to

Bask

In the warmth

Of her lips

xoxo,

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Moon Eyes

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Her moon eyes
Hypnotize
The stars

Her incandescent gaze
Inspires star light
To shine brightest

In the dark
Where forever she
Remains love’s spark

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


Unstuck on stupid

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If loving you is wrong then…

Move out of the way
Stop blocking my view

Love is precious
As is time
And if we’re not right
Then stop wasting mine

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


Baddie

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Her confidence was unshakable
Because she had lived hard
Her experiences surpassed misery

She’d been betrayed
She’d been unloved
She’d lost everything she valued

Her name dragged through the gutter
Her spirit beaten black & blue
Her soul torn to pieces

Each time she rose
She stood taller than before
She was more than just a “survivor”

She was a dedicated student of life
With the greatest lesson learned
Of using pain to conquer strength

She learned to let her inner light
Guide her through the darkness
Until her SHINE permeated externally

xoxo,
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