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New normal.

When you’re forced to live under abnormal circumstances, you begin to seek some sense of normality.

What ultimately ends up happening (after an extended period of completely out-of-whackness) is that you create a new sense of normal. You adjust to the curveball life has thrown at you and settle into an as-comfortable-as-can-be spot… And you live. Accordingly.

When life hands you the most unfortunate circumstance that you can’t, in any way, see yourself out of… Well, you do. Somehow. Unknowingly. Maybe subconsciously. Just by continuing to live, to breathe, to think. And the most difficult thing (at that moment) happens… Life. Goes. On.

Painfully. At times, seemingly unbearably. You curse the world, yourself, God. You question repeatedly “WHY? Why is life so unfair? How could this have happened? Why?!” And still, life goes on. Tortuously. Gravely. It just keeps going. You feel like you’re barely living, and maybe you are.
Darkness surrounds you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. The light would surely kill you, anyway. It would be unbearable, and would have no place in your somber heart.

And then one day. The light peeks through… through your tightly closed curtains or blinds, and through your cloudy heart. A glimmer of hope is found in a single ray of sunshine. But, is this even ok? You shudder at the guilt you feel when even considering finding any thread of happiness again. Smile? I shouldn’t. Laugh? I couldn’t. Love? I won’t.

You endlessly battle the possibility of finding your joy again. You may have feelings of guilt, heaps of doubt, unresolved loss of faith in humanity or spirituality, and residual resentment. Still, there is a piece of you gravitating toward the light. And, for goodness sake, you need it.

And it’s ok to move forward slowly, cautiously. Just stay in motion. Open the blinds or curtains a little more today. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be ready to open them all the way. Maybe one day soon you’ll be ready to step outside and admire the beauty in Mother Nature. Or, maybe that’s still too far away to envision. And that’s ok. It will come sooner than later if you allow yourself to start creating a new normal.

It won’t be easy, there will still be good days and bad days. That never changes. But, with persistence and a strong will, you’ll get through this. And you will smile, and laugh, and love again.

While you’re at it, you might as well make this new normal better than any other normal you’ve ever had.

Hang in there.

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


Good vibes only

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I distrust the person whose values, morals and identity are based solely on popular opinion.

Their dignity is nonexistent, and with no dignity comes no shame and likely no compassion.

That’s an energy I can always do without.

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


Louvre Love

The picture of me in the gold dress was taken in 2010 for a Louvre-inspired photo shoot, the photographer used special effects to add in the structure. Four years later, here I am visiting the Louvre in the flesh… No special effects.
Hollerlujah *Madea voice*

I should’ve recreated that pic, huh? Lol.

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Love notes at the Louvre

I was feeling the love at the Louvre and was inspired to jot down some love notes.

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We loved
We hugged
We begrudged
We nudged
We touched
And sexed much
To passion, we clutched
And, we never had enough

xoxo,
Fionna Writes


Pain is art

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I wouldn’t wish
my creativity on anyone
because the best of it
is rooted in the
depths of pain.


Word Hoarder

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This collection of words I hoard and cling tightly to…

Each one connected to a memory, a dream, or sliver of my heart

Some synonymous, many antonymous, but all connected in some way

Wether scattered or neatly aligned side by side, they always make up all that is me.


Heart’s Intent

 

shywoman

It’s always my intention… my goal… to love unconditionally. But, my heart has a condition. It screams for love requited. And when disappointed or betrayed, it runs… far. Withdrawing from the betayer, the once-warm vessel turns cold. A heart that showered with love, runs dry. A defense mechanism, indeed. An imperfect heart that has yet to master unconditional love.

Once this heart has mastered the art of true, pure, unconditional love then it shall be free from heartbreak, resentment, anger, and suffering. When this heart completely accepts and understands that betrayal cannot be taken personally [because that is only a reflection of the betrayer's damaged heart] then it shall be at peace.

A master of love this heart will grow to be.

xoxo,

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