When you’re forced to live under abnormal circumstances, you begin to seek some sense of normality.
What ultimately ends up happening (after an extended period of completely out-of-whackness) is that you create a new sense of normal. You adjust to the curveball life has thrown at you and settle into an as-comfortable-as-can-be spot… And you live. Accordingly.
When life hands you the most unfortunate circumstance that you can’t, in any way, see yourself out of… Well, you do. Somehow. Unknowingly. Maybe subconsciously. Just by continuing to live, to breathe, to think. And the most difficult thing (at that moment) happens… Life. Goes. On.
Painfully. At times, seemingly unbearably. You curse the world, yourself, God. You question repeatedly “WHY? Why is life so unfair? How could this have happened? Why?!” And still, life goes on. Tortuously. Gravely. It just keeps going. You feel like you’re barely living, and maybe you are.
Darkness surrounds you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. The light would surely kill you, anyway. It would be unbearable, and would have no place in your somber heart.
And then one day. The light peeks through… through your tightly closed curtains or blinds, and through your cloudy heart. A glimmer of hope is found in a single ray of sunshine. But, is this even ok? You shudder at the guilt you feel when even considering finding any thread of happiness again. Smile? I shouldn’t. Laugh? I couldn’t. Love? I won’t.
You endlessly battle the possibility of finding your joy again. You may have feelings of guilt, heaps of doubt, unresolved loss of faith in humanity or spirituality, and residual resentment. Still, there is a piece of you gravitating toward the light. And, for goodness sake, you need it.
And it’s ok to move forward slowly, cautiously. Just stay in motion. Open the blinds or curtains a little more today. Maybe tomorrow you’ll be ready to open them all the way. Maybe one day soon you’ll be ready to step outside and admire the beauty in Mother Nature. Or, maybe that’s still too far away to envision. And that’s ok. It will come sooner than later if you allow yourself to start creating a new normal.
It won’t be easy, there will still be good days and bad days. That never changes. But, with persistence and a strong will, you’ll get through this. And you will smile, and laugh, and love again.
While you’re at it, you might as well make this new normal better than any other normal you’ve ever had.
Hang in there.