I find it fascinating how much of our society revolves around the blind leading the blind, but no one making that connection and realizing that is all it is. We live among people always looking for reassurance from the next unknowing person to justify their guilty actions, thoughts, ideas or to cope with insecurities. And I’ve narrowed it down to two main types of people: narcissists who want to justify themselves, and people who enjoy playing victim to escape being at fault for their mishaps. There’s one thing they have in common: being broken.
I’ve met and studied some of the most broken people, and they have either ended up being the most narcissistic people I know: the person who’s ego is so large that it blinds you from the start. But, those types can be broken down. You either have the obnoxious know-it-all, rub-my-accomplishments-in-your-face-and-your-face-and-your-face or the elusive charmer who makes everyone feel like their only one but who’s only actual concern is themselves and their need for pleasure in whatever form they enjoy it- whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. Or, there’s the victim who can still cause and create just as much pain, but who never takes the blame because they somehow are not responsible for it. It’s the I-never-had-love person or the so-much-trauma-has-left-me-sad-and-needy-always-seeking-externally-person. In either sense, no one wants to take responsibility for themselves, the effect they have on others, and for contributing to the cycle of ignorance and mistreatment of human emotion and human psyche.
Amidst these two majorities, there are rare instances when you meet someone who doesn’t fall into either category. That’s not to say they’ve never experienced pain or trauma, because usually they have. But, what separates them is their ability to recognize it and to want to get to the heart of the problem and tackle it head on, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist or allowing it to be the excuse for not being whole. When you face the issue head-on, you go through a healing process.
The healing process is so important and necessary in order to move forward in life. It allows us to gain understanding, not only of the issue-at-hand but of ourselves. And, that’s because healing requires solitude. Solitude is something so many of us struggle with because we constantly seek approval and reassurance externally. We depend on others to legitimize us so we never learn the truth of ourselves, and we use a combination of lies we’ve been told by others and lies we tell ourselves as a foundation for our actions and reactions to various situations.
If we could sit in solitude and learn to be at peace with it, and love that space then we will learn our truth. And in doing so, we will no longer fall into one of those two categories, which are both toxic to ourselves and to those around us – hence, blind leading blind. We will stop being blind and open our eyes to the truths we’ve ignored for so long. We will stop allowing others to define us and we will learn to RESPECT ourselves and our relationships. Because, in case we don’t know, the way we treat our relationships is also a direct reflection of our character.
So, being a liar, cheater, manipulator or abuser in a relationship and getting away with it may make you feel macho and smooth and suave, but in all actuality, those of us who are not metaphorically blind and see that just see a poor, lost soul who has not yet felt true joy or pure happiness. Just a miserable person who feels so empty that the only way to get a taste of what they think is happiness, is by inflating their ego through one of those methods. And if those people that are hurt and misguided accept your antics, and that makes you feel good about yourself then that’s your prerogative. That simply means you’ve accepted mediocrity and personal growth is invaluable to you. That’s fine, more room for those of us who enjoy being mentally elevated and informed and free from drama and pettiness.
But, just know this: you’re only fooling the fools.