Problems arise where our insecurities lie.
This thought was provoked when a well-to-do person crossed my path. I thought to myself, “I bet they never worry about having the ability and qualities and talents needed to achieve financial success” which led me to believe that it’s because they are not insecure about having what it takes to get money, a lot of it. Whereas, someone else, may question their abilities, talents and gifts to offer the world, and because they don’t feel worthy, they emanate that to others and are treated that way, getting in the way of their own self.
Insecurities can be self-destructive, as well as catastrophic to any encompassing relationships albeit family, love, or friends. The woman who has felt betrayal and can never fully trust any man she’s in a relationship with causing her to provoke fights, over-think every situation and be on a constant search for a truth she doesn’t really want to find. Or the man who has felt betrayal so never completely commits to anyone, always having 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th options as backup, or is just a serial dater.
On the flip side, they can be the reason we overcompensate in one area. The chubby kid turned body builder, always trying to prove to himself that he’s not that fat little boy… but never quite getting rid of the “fat boy” image and accompanying condescending self-talk in his mind. The little girl who grew up in poverty and never had what the other kids had, so she never lost sight of money, ignoring every other aspect of her life and is now sitting in wealth… all alone. And probably partaking in a dangerous vice (alcohol or drug abuse; promiscuity, gambling, etc.)
Perception is what will determine whether we drown in insecurities or have unparalleled success because of them. While to completely rid of insecurities is not an easy goal to attain, that should always be something we work toward. We want abundance in emotional and mental health, and overcoming those insecurities so that they aren’t constantly nagging your innermost self (therefore being the sole reason behind your every action) is ideal. It’s never good to be controlled by insecurities whether the result is paramount success or utter dwelling and resentment in an underachieving life. Because, in neither of those is there lasting joy, fulfillment, acceptance of self or honest love from others… the things we need to truly FEEL successful. Granted, if being ruled by insecurities, I’d rather be the one who creates riches over the broke and broken person.
It’s important to acknowledge the root of our insecurities because, all too often, we lose sight of the root of them and continue adding moments of afflictions, collected over the years, onto what eventually becomes our massive, tangled pile of insecurities. Each insecurity intersecting and overlapping the other to the point of becoming one big, nasty, knot. If we deal with our insecurities early on… right after they are created then we will have a lot less work to do later.
Take the time to go through the emotions that come with being hurt/attacked/violated, acknowledge each emotion, feel each one, but do not sit and dwell in any of them. Do not allow yourself to see yourself as a victim because your actions and the way you carry yourself will be that of a victim and people will treat you like a victim. They will pity you, shame you, belittle you and that will only deepen your insecurities.
See yourself as a survivor, a strong enough person to persevere, to overcome this painful situation. Be the person who will not allow pain afflicted on you from someone (who never conquered their own insecurities) or from some circumstance (poverty, etc.) to define you or to make you stagnant or despondent. When you change your perception from victim to triumphant then people will treat you as such, they will respect you, admire you, and be inspired by you. Be your own hero first, and then reach back and be someone else’s hero too.
Find abundance where insecurities die.